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please note: this blog is now history. for my current blog please go to geoff's dreams (see links).
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Nowadays, there's no respect for the dead.
At funerals they play
Robbie Williams' 'Angels' instead.
At funerals they play
Robbie Williams' 'Angels' instead.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
If Madonna
Had a cow,
What would she
Be doing now?
Would she adore
Her every breath?
Or would she milk
The girl to death?
Had a cow,
What would she
Be doing now?
Would she adore
Her every breath?
Or would she milk
The girl to death?
If Robert Smith
Had a plough,
What would he
Be doing now?
Would he plough
The whole field through?
Or just furrow
By his shoe?
Had a plough,
What would he
Be doing now?
Would he plough
The whole field through?
Or just furrow
By his shoe?
Sunday, August 15, 2004
I think it's time to face the facts,
We're too old for Basement Jaxx,
But too young for Singalongamax.
Who are we?
We're Basement Jaxx.
We're too old for Basement Jaxx,
But too young for Singalongamax.
Who are we?
We're Basement Jaxx.
I promise to pay the bearer
(Ms Christina Aguilera),
An undisclosed sum
To put away her bum,
To hold her saucy tongue,
And all the songs she's sung.
Become an actress, dear,
Then you can have no fear.
I will not get annoyed
By films I can avoid.
(Ms Christina Aguilera),
An undisclosed sum
To put away her bum,
To hold her saucy tongue,
And all the songs she's sung.
Become an actress, dear,
Then you can have no fear.
I will not get annoyed
By films I can avoid.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
In the book of common prayer
You won't find any pubic hair,
Unless Cliff Richard put it there,
'Cos of a devil woman's dare.
You won't find any pubic hair,
Unless Cliff Richard put it there,
'Cos of a devil woman's dare.
There've been no sightings
Of Elvis lately,
Nor have there been
Of Stephen Gateley.
But wait! Look yonder!
He's living on stage here,
In 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang';
It's all the rage, dear.
Of Elvis lately,
Nor have there been
Of Stephen Gateley.
But wait! Look yonder!
He's living on stage here,
In 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang';
It's all the rage, dear.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
The Coldplay, Keane,
Starsailor scene
Gives my bones a chill.
Their plodding, grinding,
Tuneless whining
Made me write my will.
'To all three I
Bequeath my ties,
To hang themselves in turn.'
My alcoholic
Daddy's sick
With terrible heartburn.
Do I moan?
Am I prone
To get on stage and sob?
Just hang yourselves,
Or fit some shelves.
Get a proper job!
Starsailor scene
Gives my bones a chill.
Their plodding, grinding,
Tuneless whining
Made me write my will.
'To all three I
Bequeath my ties,
To hang themselves in turn.'
My alcoholic
Daddy's sick
With terrible heartburn.
Do I moan?
Am I prone
To get on stage and sob?
Just hang yourselves,
Or fit some shelves.
Get a proper job!
It's hard to make the move
From making children groove
To being sexy news,
As Rachel Stevens proves.
But Peter Duncan knows
That to smell like a new rose,
You first take off your clothes,
Then keep a cleaner nose.
From making children groove
To being sexy news,
As Rachel Stevens proves.
But Peter Duncan knows
That to smell like a new rose,
You first take off your clothes,
Then keep a cleaner nose.
Jools Holland says he's Ray Charles' BIGGEST fan.
He's received enormous pleasure from the man.
Now Ray is not around and sings no more,
Can Jools please piss off back to Channel Four.
At least then I can pay my licence fee,
And not partly fund his bloody Hootenanny.
And his tedious middle-aged big band,
Which makes any singer sound plain bland.
He's received enormous pleasure from the man.
Now Ray is not around and sings no more,
Can Jools please piss off back to Channel Four.
At least then I can pay my licence fee,
And not partly fund his bloody Hootenanny.
And his tedious middle-aged big band,
Which makes any singer sound plain bland.
