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please note: this blog is now history. for my current blog please go to geoff's dreams (see links).
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Elton John, the king of queens,
Sang a song for England's rose.
He also sang Blue 'eyes' not 'jeans',
Those were David Dundas' clothes.
Sang a song for England's rose.
He also sang Blue 'eyes' not 'jeans',
Those were David Dundas' clothes.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
You haven't got Fat Larry's 'Zoom',
To welcome both the bride and groom.
No jigging to 'Come on Eileen',
No dance to ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'.
No 'Hi Ho Silver Bloody Lining',
To drown out mardy toddlers' whining.
An uncle spitting vol au vents,
Says, 'Play some Jam, you effin' ponce!'
The best man asks for Colplay's 'Clocks',
You say 'Did you say Hanoi Rocks?'
Grandma demands Gareth Gates,
You tell the crone she'll have to wait.
No 'Sex Bomb' or Boney M?
You don't care, sod all of them.
'Westlife for my daughter, snide!'
Sneers the father of the bride.
You keep your calm, you keep your zen,
Keep playing what you want till then,
Grandad slurs 'New York, New York',
And stabs your forehead with a fork.
To welcome both the bride and groom.
No jigging to 'Come on Eileen',
No dance to ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'.
No 'Hi Ho Silver Bloody Lining',
To drown out mardy toddlers' whining.
An uncle spitting vol au vents,
Says, 'Play some Jam, you effin' ponce!'
The best man asks for Colplay's 'Clocks',
You say 'Did you say Hanoi Rocks?'
Grandma demands Gareth Gates,
You tell the crone she'll have to wait.
No 'Sex Bomb' or Boney M?
You don't care, sod all of them.
'Westlife for my daughter, snide!'
Sneers the father of the bride.
You keep your calm, you keep your zen,
Keep playing what you want till then,
Grandad slurs 'New York, New York',
And stabs your forehead with a fork.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Did the Brotherhood of Man have groupies?
Did the moustachioed one always score?
Did they blaze a trail through all old Europe?
A knock at each hotel room door?
Did the thin, lanky one have young Helga?
Her mother and grandmother,too?
Was life on the road one long orgy?
Or did they save all their kisses for you?
Did the moustachioed one always score?
Did they blaze a trail through all old Europe?
A knock at each hotel room door?
Did the thin, lanky one have young Helga?
Her mother and grandmother,too?
Was life on the road one long orgy?
Or did they save all their kisses for you?
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Knocking at the pearly gates,
Margaret Thatcher stands and waits
For someone to let her in,
Someone to forgive her sins.
'Have you got two bob?' says Peter,
'We need someone to feed the meter.'
'Yes, I've brought some change,' says she.
'So, all in heaven isn't free.'
'Have you brought your tune?' he asks,
'To accompany your task.'
'Yes,' she says, 'I have 'Telstar',
My very favourite tune by far.'
So Margaret sits back in a cloud,
And listens to her music loud.
Although her arms are old and weak,
She fans the feet of dear Joe Meek.
Margaret Thatcher stands and waits
For someone to let her in,
Someone to forgive her sins.
'Have you got two bob?' says Peter,
'We need someone to feed the meter.'
'Yes, I've brought some change,' says she.
'So, all in heaven isn't free.'
'Have you brought your tune?' he asks,
'To accompany your task.'
'Yes,' she says, 'I have 'Telstar',
My very favourite tune by far.'
So Margaret sits back in a cloud,
And listens to her music loud.
Although her arms are old and weak,
She fans the feet of dear Joe Meek.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Clearing out the loft today,
All this stuff we threw away.
An old Christmas tree with a tattered fairy,
Mum's singles by Peter, Paul and Mary.
Diaries full of self-pitying thoughts,
1950's school reports.
Grandad's pre-war pipe collection,
Cream for granny's scalp infection.
Rusty chains from children's bikes,
An autograph by Eric Sykes.
Pictures of women in panty-hose,
A dog-eared poster of Axl Rose.
All this stuff we threw away.
An old Christmas tree with a tattered fairy,
Mum's singles by Peter, Paul and Mary.
Diaries full of self-pitying thoughts,
1950's school reports.
Grandad's pre-war pipe collection,
Cream for granny's scalp infection.
Rusty chains from children's bikes,
An autograph by Eric Sykes.
Pictures of women in panty-hose,
A dog-eared poster of Axl Rose.
